Going back to childhood we experience the early wounds of exclusion. There are many reasons for being excluded from the intimacy and nurture we longed for from our parents and siblings. Unique to us but common to all humans. Then in high school we longed to be in a different clique because a member in good standing of that club extended the promise of inclusion. Excluded at home we now had the possibility of inclusion in a different family.

A relationship ending abruptly or after a long period of time excluded us from what that inclusion promised. There is hurt, loss and grief  as we see and feel the exclusion. So much of our life has been a struggle to be included and what compromises have we made to avoid exclusion.

Clarity and forward movement are likely to occur as we have an Empty Chair conversation with the person who excluded us or an Empty Chair conversation with ourselves as to how we dealt with that exclusion.