Anger

When anger is directed towards you and it is intense, look through the anger to the hurt or the fear that is underneath. Compassion may surface instead of lashing out. You may not in the heat of the moment identify the hurt or fear yet being aware that the anger is a often a smokescreen for that hurt or fear may evoke compassion. Anger gives a person a false sense of power. Admitting the hurt or the fear makes us vulnerable. Recognizing this enables us to stay and listen or just walk away. At a later time a simple question may be appropriate. Did I hurt you or stir up fear in you the other day? A healing dialogue may follow or an angry retort. Whichever response, the person knows that you listened.

In the Empty Chair psychodrama session the protagonist( the person speaking to the empty chair)) may vent anger towards the significant other person( not present) sitting in the empty chair. That venting may continue for sometime. Now the protagonist is ready to deal with the hurt or fear which may have caused an abrupt end to a significant relationship. How was I hurt or what caused that deep fear in me? Or I may learn in this session how the other person may have been deeply hurt by me and cut off the relationship.

It is in opening up ourselves to compassion for another person or oneself that we gain insights.   This process may enable healing on both sides.

 

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